ADVICE PLEASE
Two is the magic number! It's the number of weeks exactly before my induction date and it's the number of centimeters I am dilated! TMI? (I'm just so excited about that because the farthest I ever got with Ryder, on my own, 10 days past my due date, was a 1..."maybe a 1.5", said my dr.)
Anyhow, with time running out, I'm still feeling so unprepared in so many ways, so I was hoping to pick your brains for some advice. Specifically, in regards to bringing a second child home. Ryder knows about her as much as he can understand. We plan on having a low-key, play-it-by-ear holiday, and as a special bonus, since I'll mostly likely be having her 2 days after Phil's finals I will have his help for two weeks.
So, do any of you have ideas about how to help Ryder with the adjustment and different ways to include him? And advice in how to manage two at a time? Any tips on getting a good routine going? I love a good routine. Please share your wisdoms!
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Good luck! I am having my 4th shortly as well, yea... One thing I have always done is have the older sibling pick out a little present for the baby and have a present from the baby ready for the older sibling. That has always worked and made the older sibling excited in lots of ways. Also you could get a little camera that is their own to take pictures of the baby. Good luck, but know it will be easier then you think.
ReplyDeleteI would ditto the present idea. We even gave Max a little baby of his own (Toys R Us had a boy baby with a little car seat too).
ReplyDeleteThe routine might be hard to get at first because you know how newborns are. But I remember after a while it seemed we settled into certain nursing times and nap times that I would stick with. That helped me and the boys have some familiarity and security.
My mom had 12 kids, and she told me that reading books helped a lot with the toddler at the time. If you're nursing with one arm, read books on the couch with the other arm. And whenever the baby goes down to sleep, hug and cuddle and give lots of attention to the toddler.
Above all, just know it will get better. It's rough at first (at least it was for me) but it will get better. Much better.
The concept of a routine is a bit laughable with a newborn, no matter how mild. They're the dictators and we are their subjects. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything Mary said -- lots of focus has to remain on Ryder whenever possible. If you have a chance to take him out alone for a few hours (or an hour) to the pet store when Phil is home so he can look at the fish, birds, and lizards, it's quite a thrill.
If people are planning on bringing gifts, have them bring them for Ryder instead ... baby rattles for a newborn are ridiculous, and yet I have at least 5.
I don't really have any good ideas. Bringing baby 2 home was a bust for me. I had a hard recovery and not much help or sleep and it was not fun. Everett had a super hard time with all the time I spent with Monte nursing him and so he was mean to him. So, try to spend time with him and make sure you have help come in so they don't get put on the back burner. One thing I started doing was having Everett open the clean diapers when I was changing Monte and then throwing the dirty ones away. I think it helped him feel like he was a part of it. He was pretty young when Monte came home though. Reading books while nursing is a good idea for some people. It wasn't for me. Everett would not have it, Me feeding Monte while reading to him.
ReplyDeleteSo, good luck! It is an exciting time!
One thing that Landon seemed to like was the book, "I'm a big brother now". Good Luck! Some stages are easier than others. Landon was pretty good when Zachary was born, but now that Zachary is moving around and getting into "his" stuff he's having a really hard time which equals lots of crying from the both of them.
ReplyDeleteJust call me....it's all so fresh right now!! We did a big brother party (which we talked up like crazy before Grace came). We also did presents for each other, books about it, etc. The best thing was having my mother-in-law help. She took Grace at night, and played with Jackson in the day. Now that she is gone I've learned the best thing for Jackson is a happy mom. So take care of yourself and feel productive when your kids are happy instead of when your "list" is getting checked off. It will be such a special time! Don't worry, you will all adjust just fine! Love you lots!
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