NO FEAR

Remember that silly T-shirt brand that came out in the mid-nineties? Hehe... anyway... Not to say that my life is hard or that I'm heavy with trials or anything, in fact, on the contrary, I am incredibly blessed. This I know. What I didn't know was that these past few weeks... moving, starting school, figuring out how to pay for everything...was going to be a lot harder than I had originally anticipated. I didn't know what I was expecting, but I think it had something to do with this comforting image of being welcomed into the open and familiar arms of Happy Valley and that money for school and insurance for our impending arrival would start growing fruitfully from that cherry tree in our front yard. Not so, my friends. Not so. It's been an interesting move for me and one that's included growing pains and mature perspectives, that I could stand do without. I shant bore you with the details, but after complaining to my mom on the phone one evening, she told me I should read a talk in this month's Ensign titled "Lessons from Liberty Jail" by Elder Holland. Did you read it too? It's a goodie. Besides putting my life into perspective and making me feel unbelievably blessed, it made me love and respect the prophet Joseph Smith more and helped me to feel of my Savior's love. That latter one is particularly easy for me to forget when I'm super stressed and frustrated :) One of my favorite quotes from this talk states:

"We must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us."

See now, I like to describe that feeling as frustration, or anger or confusion, when I think I'm going unheard. But it's neither of those feelings. What we are truly feeling is fear. Yes, it is a total lack of faith to fear God's abandonment, but why else would we fear His absence, if we did not know full and well the blessing of His presence? So, for me, correctly identifying those times as fear is another reminder to me that "He does hear us, He does see us, and He does love us". He is not going to be by our side one moment only to leave us to fend for ourselves the next. He is constant. But alas, I am not, but hopefully, through life's experiences and a whole lotta time, my faith will be just as constant as our Heavenly Father...that's the goal, anyhow :)