Pray Always

"I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God, it changes me." --C. S. Lewis

Along with the thousand other things I'd like to do--sharing my testimony in bits and pieces here and there on this blog is one of them.

I decided to start with one of the first principles I came to truly understand very early on in my life. And that is prayer. 

I was taught to pray as a little girl. And now that I think about it--it's one of the best gifts my parents could've given me. They taught me to get on my knees to pray before I went to sleep every night. And so I did. You might say this was also the beginning of my testimony of obedience as well. 

Being so young, it began as something to check off my to-do list: brush teeth, go potty, get a drink of water, and say your prayers. But it wasn't until sometime in gradeschool I started to see the blessings that came from answered prayers and the undeniable benefits that came from consulting with my Father each night before I went to sleep.

I loved this quote so much I had to make it into a little print. Download quote here, if you'd like.

I remember praying for years that my dad wouldn't have to work on Sundays anymore. A great blessing that was eventually given to our family. I remember fervently praying I would do well in my geography bee in 5th grade--or later when I'd tryout for something in highschool or had some sort of performance. And oh how I'd pray to drive safely. Which sounds so cliche, but after being a small 9 year-old slightly traumatized after our family was in an awful car accident, it was anything but. And then, there were always those moments of spontaneous desparation, such as killing my truck, losing my wallet, forgetting about a test--I prayed then too. Point is: I prayed about everything from the big stuff to the small stuff. The answers that came weren't always what I wanted, but the answers that came never ceased to prove to me that I had someone greater than me advocating my cause and if it mattered to me then it mattered to Him. 

In the middle of all of this, I began developing an anxiety disorder around 10 years old. My parents and I didn't know what to do, and so I did what I always do--I prayed, we prayed. I'm pretty sure everyone in my family was praying for me. Heavenly Father didn't take it away (like I asked Him to hundreds of times), but He slowly provided me the understanding and mind exercises I needed for me to keep myself in control of my thoughts. I can't imagine where I'd be today had prayer not been a major part of my arsenal used to conquer this trial of mine. This was when I first found my Savior, and experienced the blessings of the Atonement. I discovered the scriptures--although I was too young to understand a lot of them, I knew they fortified me and increased my ability to feel the Spirit. 

Prayer made me love and trust my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and therefore made accepting the truthfulness of the Gospel one of the easiest things I've ever done.

And I pray still. However, it seems now my prayers are about much weightier matters. I hate to admit there are times I find the more I need to pray about the more daunting the task. And there are times I can't get on my knees fast enough. The word safety takes on about twenty different meaning as does the word pain. Thankfully, I always get to start out with gratitude. There are few things as therapeutic for me as telling my Father in Heaven everything I'm grateful for. It grants peace, perspective and ability to sort through the rest of my thoughts.

It's funny how writing this has made me realize how huge prayer has been to me in my life. I've always known of its importance to me, but writing about it has made me see how prayer has been the gateway to many, if not all, of the blessings I have today. Another thing I love about it--everyone can do it. No matter who, when, where or how. Everyone can pray.

One of my most favorite talks on the subject is by Elder David E Bednar in the 2008 General Conference titled: Pray Always. I remember exactly where I was the first time I heard this talk because it was such an "Ah-ha!" moment for me. If you're interested in learning more about the subject you can read it here.

One of the Stupidest Things I've Ever Done

***Now before you read this--I'm not saying you shouldn't do fun things with your kids--I'm just saying, be careful with what fun things you choose to do with your kids.***

(These photos are from a couple of Sunday ago, where our afternoon activities were chosen a bit more wisely)

After a wonderful weekend that included a date with Phil and uplifting Stake Conference meetings, we found ourselves in our usual spot on Sunday afternoons: the couch.

We figured after our kids' twentieth plea to go play we thought we should make an effort to be decent parents and, I dunno, take them outside or something.

So we decided to go to the park. An easy fun-loving activity perfect for a late summer day. We even walked the block and a half to get there because we're just so spontaneous like that.

And apparently the spontaneity was catching because the park we were at has a lot of hills and Hazel and I found ourselves atop one of these said hills. Hazel began squeaking out some sounds of apphrehension about walking down the steep terrain so being the adventerous mother I am, instead of picking her up or taking her hand, I told her:

Lets roll down the hill! 
          
(stupid, stupid, stupid)

And then I proceeded to lay in the grass perpendicular to the slope to perform what in my head was going to be a very simple demonstration.

Now, it's important to note here, that even though it had probably been a decade (maybe even more) since I had done such a shenanigan--I don't know if it was that the hills I used to roll on just weren't that steep, I don't know--but I had this vision of me doing two or three rolls then, happily sitting up to show my baby girl how fun it was and then see if she wanted to try it. It was one of those rare moments in life, I threw caution to the wind and embraced that fun-loving, carefree mom who spends her days running in fields of wildflowers with her children.

So I went for it.

By the third roll, it was clear I wasn't going anywhere but down that hill. I tried to stop, to sit up (ya know so I could show Hazel how much fun I was having), but I'm pretty sure at this point I was measuring about 8 G's down what felt like to be a never-ending cliff. Everything inside me was churning. All of the parts outside me (that didn't used to be there a decade ago) were being whipped around me in an abusive manner.

And yet in the faint distance, I hear Hazel. Concerned. Schtop! Mommy! Schtop!

Oh, sweet girl...if only I could--if only. I. Could.

What was in reality only 5 seconds, felt like 5 minutes. Why am I not slowing down? I've got to be about two shakes away from hitting the church about a block down the road....

It was was about this time that I felt a noticable decrease in speed. Finally! And so I tried to sit up again.    My head was spinning so....hard, I felt like I was going to pass out. Wait. No, no--I wanted to pass out. If there was anyone out there who ever wanted to torture me, it would be to put me in a barrel and roll me around. I would tell you ANYTHING you wanted to know.

I did stop. And after laying there in spread-eagle position for who nows how long, I made it up onto all fours and hoarsly called out "Phil...? Phil...!" I hear a voice fighting the urge not to laugh reply, Are you okay?

No. No, I am not okay.

I later told him that was easily one of the top ten most stupidest things I've done (at least this year anyway). He told me that he was surprised I did it, but that I looked whimsical and in complete control while doing so.

So even though it almost killed me. At least I looked totes awesome while doing it. So, ya know, I've got that.

And then, a few minutes later we were rounding up the kiddos to walk back home, Phil sprained his ankle.

We totally just should've stayed on the couch.

Rewind: Hazel's Birthday!

Another major happening this summer was Hazel's birthday. She turned 2!  And really, what can I say about our curly, blonde-haired, left-handed, baby doll, other than we adore her and think she's the cutest wittle cutie-patootie-woo-woo we've ever known. And listening to her talk with her low, matter-of-fact voice, laced with a sassy tone, pretty much gets her whatever she wants...and then she turns into cranky, demanding, spoiled Hazel, but we won't talk about that right now. 

Also, I think it's worth mentioning at her two-year check-up, she measured in at 30 lbs and is in the 99th per centile for her height. We dunno, but we think she might be on the taller side.

Hazel LOVED her party. We spent the morning making all the preparations, but it wasn't until she woke up from her nap and everyone came over that you could see her slowly putting together that they were here for her. The cake was for her. They were all singing for her! THE PRESENTS WERE FOR HER! She talked about it for days. And for weeks afterward, the Happy Birthday song made #1 on her top requested song list for naptime and bedtime.

And deservedly so! We love you, Hazel Ane!

Rewind: Fourth of July

Gosh, I love this time of year so much I could burst. Every time summer rolls around I am so grateful for the break and warm weather I think to myself maybe summer is my favorite season. But then fall comes rolling back in along with that giddy feeling I get, and I remember there is no comparison. Autumn is my favorite. But I will say Summer is a close second. And why I need to make sure I need to get our summer memories recorded--even if it be in retrospect.

So here we are at the Fourth of July. It was totes fun. Phil's cousin Stephanie and her husband, Gideon were here visiting, which only added to the enjoyment.

We started the day at the neightborhood parade--one of my favorite parts of the day--which was followed by a little chalk fight. Then, we had a BBQ with some neighbors for lunch. We vegged for awhile and then made our way to the park for the Traverse Mountain dinner and festivities (which consisted of a lot of blow-up slides and a mariachi band)--we didn't stay long.

We finished up the day at my sister's house. We lit sparklers. I wore a fesitve scarf on my head. We ate popsicles. And we later joined her neighbors for fireworks. Which aside from their neighbor's collection, the location we were in lent a view of fireworks going off all around the valley. The pefect way to end a wonderful Fourth of July.

Temples, Preschool & Soccer Season

Whoosh, I'm still having a hard time getting used to the busy-ness of back-to-school. I'm a person who is a home-body at heart and I find the days I don't have much going on are becoming cherished little beauties of sweat pants and no make-up.

On the flip side, it does feel good to be busy too. And if that's not a complete lie to make myself feel better about life, than this week felt really good.

Monday was Labor Day and thank goodness for my sister with extra tickets, we were able to attend the Ogden Utah Temple Open House.  We did have to wait in line for 45 minutes and we lost our group because of a spontaneous potty break. But other than that, it was wonderful to see this gorgeous building and to be inside the walls dedicated to our Savior and to the service of others. And speaking from a strictly materialistic point of view--flawless. Oh how I'd love to listen in on the meeting that plans the interior design for these temples. What a fun job!

And since we were in the area, we met my parents for lunch and visited Phil's Grandpa Phil (hehe). It's rare I can descibe outings as pleasant. Even if they're fun, they usually carry and element of chaos, but I can say that this day was quite pleasant, indeed.

A couple of days later, Penelope finally started her second year of preschool. So now instead of two days a week, she'll be going three. We're (me) are all about gradual changes around here. That cute little thing was so excited so see Mrs. Barb and her friends.

Soccer season also started this week and so Penny and Ryder had they're first practice and Saturday was their first game. This was Pen's first time playing so it was pretty fun seeing her decked out in her shin guards and uniform.

And I may have decorated my front door with fall decorations even thought its still 85 degrees outside. It may clash with the summer flower pots for a couple of more weeks, but ehh, well.

Back to School Week

This was a big week. Sunday evening we attempted a mediocre-at-best back to school family home evening. Probably some room for improvement there... I can't be perfect at everything, okay! But Phil was able to give our kids a Father's priesthood blessing, which was the most important thing. This was a tradition I grew up with and as I sat there listening to the comforting blessings being given to my own children I couldn't help but think how we'll probably never know how much those blessings helped us while growing up. How grateful I am for that beloved tradition in my childhood and how we're able to pass it on to our kids now.

 Then--Monday was Ryder's 7th birthday! We were horrible with the picture taking during the opening of the presents and blowing out his '7' candle on his donut cake. (Okay--so I'm not perfect at A LOT of things.) But it doesn't take away from the fact he is sweet, and good and how there are so many wonderful things about him that comfort my apprehension about his growing up. I just love every single thing about him and I'm so lucky that he came to our family. 

And since his birthday just happened to fall on the day before school....and since his cousins and Nana and Pompa just happened to be there for his birthday party, we thought we'd throw in a little back-to-school fun with our first ever:

Presenting: Penny, Jared, Rory, Gracie, Ryder and Hazel! Sporting a couple of their favorite back-to-school fashion trends!

We've got sleek & chic. Pop-culture graphic T's. Skinny jeans. Your classic button-up-the front shirts. A little bit of little-girl ruffles and just a shot of neon to top the whole thing off!

Folks, this was hilarious. If you ever need to turn a gathering into a par-tay, strap some Christmas lights to your banister, turn-up a little Billy Jean and Vogue and make your littles strut their stuff down the stairs. We whistled and cheered and before your knew everyone was coming out of their shell. If this little celebration was any indication--it's gonna be a totes fab school year. 

On a much calmer note, here was my Ryder the next morning ready for his first day of school (Pen doesn't start preschool until after Labor Day). Throughout this entire week of a new routine and rushing to get his lunch ready (we'll see how long that lasts!) I've been digesting the fact that he's gone most of the day for most of the week (which means the most of the rest of his life).  Dramatic much? Perhaps. Even Penny and Hazel are struggling with it. ("Ryda's school?" says Hazel 20 times a day.) But it's been a hard idea for me to swallow that Ryder has to go out there and fend for himself for a good portion for the rest of his childhood. I suppose it has to happen at some point and the fact that he is happy and excited to be doing so counts for something, by golly! 

Rewind: End of June

Just another day in June with my Hazel

Yikes! Summer is almost over, which means I better start blogging about it lick-a-dee-split! 

I wanted to quickly sum up a few other small things that happened in June.

Firstly--Autumn and I did a 5k--which is totes worth mentioning. Any time I run longer than 2 miles, I find it worth mentioning. We signed up for the American Fork 5k and we were huge fans. Granted the run wasn't the most scenic, but the cause was something we could get behind. The theme was survive and thrive and the money raised goes to helping patients fight cancer. I'm pretty sure I choked up 20 times watching all of the apparent stories and teams in support of individuals, not to mention thinking of my mom and aunt who are cancer survivors themselves. It was also fun it was the day before my mom's birthday and I hope we can do it again next year. I just really enjoyed being apart of the whole thing.

Secondly--Phil's parents came for a visit where they got to see Ryder play T-ball and watch Phil coach his team. We also looked at some houses in the Utah Valley Parade of Homes. Then, we visited Phil's grandpa in Ogden where Phil's sister met up with us for the rest of Grandma and Grandpa Shorten's stay. We went swimming one day and went to the Museum of Natural Curiosity another. It was good times had by all. 

This is the best we got with Grandpa Shorten this time around...we did our best-dangit. 

Enjoying 74 mph winds at the Curiosity Museum

Lastly--The Green Zombies finished their first successful (what Phil defines as no one getting hurt) season of T-ball! Phil coached and if he were telling you this might end it with a huge sigh of relief:) We'll see if he'll be up for coaching again in another year, but I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you. 

Bloody Smile

Only a minute or two after sending him downstairs to put something away, I heard something between a gasp and a shriek. Sounds of this nature aren't unusual around here, so like a good mother, I paid it no mind. In the seconds following, I heard Ryder rush up the stairs and in an excited voice called, Mom! I looked at him and his mouth was gaping wide open.

--now had it not been for the happy tone in his voice, I would have started the 'ol inward debate between calling 911 or throwing him in the car myself to rush him to the ER.--

But alas, upon further examination through the blood streaming out of his mouth, I realize he's showing me he lost a tooth! Oh, so this is exciting--not scary!  (He's already lost his bottom front four, but for some reason, this one seemed like a big deal--plus, he's been working on it for awhile).

Stopping the bleeding

So then I do what any good mother would do. I sit him on the bathroom counter and tell him to wait while I go get my phone to take a picture (because I find the fact that he looks like an extra off of the Walking Dead somewhat entertaining). I mean, is it normal for teeth falling out to bleed that much?

Anyhow, after getting the bleeding under control we were left with, what I consider, one of the cutest Jack-o-latern grins I've ever seen.

Ta Da!

He's just getting so big. His legs are so long. The other day he injured himself while sitting down because his knee came up and hit him in the jaw. And in a little more than a month he'll turn 7! Thankfully--for the most part--he's growing in sweetness as well. So if that's the case, I guess I'll let him get older.

Speaking of sweet things--will someone please text me tonight to remind me that the Tooth Fairy is supposed to be making an appearance...

Jackson Hole 2014

(One of my most favorite pictures ever)

Yay for summer! It just seemed like yesterday those kiddos got out of school and now summer is half way over! How did that happen? I'll never know. Oh wait. Yes, I do. We keep doing stuff. And now it's time to blog about some of that stuff!

We kicked off summer with a trip to Jackson Hole with my sister, her family and my parents. We spent the first night at my mom and dad's house, drove to Jackson early the next mornig and spent the next two nights there.

One thing I love about going to Jackson Hole is the ride there. If you can make it past Idaho Falls, the rest of the drive is candy to my eyes, but in an organic, natural sort of way. There is something about that area that makes me want to stop everything I'm doing, strap a canoe rack on the top of our car and a bike rack on the back and spend the rest of our days venturing through the foothills of the Tetons...

We arrived at Cowboy Village (one of our favorite places to stay) and headed on over to Teton Village. Penny and I  rode the tram up (Phil hung back with Hazel and Ryder to play frisbee golf) with my sister's fam and parents so we could all be reminded how amazing and beautiful those snowy peaks and grand vistas are all while freezing our heinies off in hurricane strength winds. Us Salvesen's,--we can't help ourselves--we just love adventure.

After we got back, we had a picnic of tuna fish sandwiches, chips and fruit, which for some reason, the thought of that meal right now, is making my mouth water. Then, we took a dip in the pool and got out just in time to roast some mallows for some s'mores. Now, there are s'mores with jumbo sized marshmallows--but these were s'mores with mondo-colossal-sized marshmallows. I mean, if you need to spice up any s'more event--those are totally the way to go. I mean, you'll go into a sugar coma--but to see it oozing out the sides like that? It's all totally worth it.

Hazel slept that night like a stinker.

(And no, I didn't stop her) 

Like I said before, my family and I are magnets for adventure, so the only option for the activity the next day was a hike, of course. The weather was off and on shower storms, but to our delight the sun popped out upon our arrival to Jenny's Lake (another place we hold quite dear). This hike is perfect for little kids. It's fairly flat and goes around the border of the lake. Unless--that trail is closed. Which in our case, it was. Being a few years since we've done the hike we didn't realize we were on a tad more advanced trail until, well, we were on it. We were committed! Being in the best interest of Hazel's welfare, Phil went ahead with her in the backpack and Ryder at is side. The rest of us had a more relaxed (let's pace ourselves) approach. As the trail kept ascending Penelope was actually a champ for the most part. We even had a song to get up those long stretches. It went, "We're cute! We're strong! Let's go, go, go!" (I totally believe in the motivating power of music). And we sang it together with gusto. Until it turned into winter again. And when she had to go pee--well, it all went downhill from there (figuratively and literally--ha!)

It was on the boat ride back, snuggling my frozen kiddos that I decided that canoe rack and life as a naturalista can wait...

 

    

After lunch and an afternoon of browsing the town, we went to the Bar J Wrangler Chuckwagon dinner and music show. Certainly, a highlight. Great food and fantastic entertainment. Again, one of our beloved traditions.

 (I think we were very entertaining to the man in the background)

 (There's a possibility we had way too much fun with this little statue scene)

 (Protector? Or just wants a hug?)

 (She was always an animal lover...and at least I made sure to get the tickets.)

 (Playing "I Spy" with Nana and Pompa while waiting for the show to start)

Hazel slept that night like a mondo-colossal stinker.

The next day was Father's Day, so we decided to take the Grandpa tour home. We stopped in Downey to see my Grandpa Salvesen and stopped in Ogden to see Phil's Grandpa Shorten.

A successful vacation to say the least. Thank you Mom and Dad for making it happen!