Trying

 Ryder and Penny trying to learn to ride their scooters :)

One of the hardest things I find about being a mom is never really feeling like a live up to the mom I hope or want to be. In my head I create a list of things I hope to get accomplished that day. Everything from chores and working out to one-on-one time and family prayer. And here's the truth: I honestly don't think I've ever had a day in my life as a mother where I've checked everything off that list. If we went and played at the park, that probably means the laundry is still sitting in the dryer. If I got my house clean and appointments made, then my kids have most likely been couped up in the house all day watching too much TV.

My brain is constantly trying to work through ways to make the cleaning more efficient, to find interesting ways to do the things I find boring all the while trying to teach my kids the things they need to know to be the people I hope they become one day. It's exhausting. And the sad thing is if you were to look at my house or my daily actions, you'd have no idea that I was trying so hard! {said with a whine}. 

I know I'm pregnant, which tends to slow me down quite a bit these days, plus today is one of those more frustrating days (I can't be sure, but there's a small possibility crazy hormones may or may not be involved) but that doesn't take away my want to be the mom I hope to be, which is perhaps why I'm finding this whole thing a bit more frustrating than usual. 

Luckily, I'm a huge believer in "I'll try again tomorrow". I don't ever get too bothered in getting caught up in the guilt of it all because tomorrow is a new day. A clean slate. A fresh start. Etch-a-Sketch. I'm pretty sure it's my belief in this philosophy of mine that keeps me sane. And even though I don't really see much progress day to day or even week to week, I do think I've seen enough improvement in the last four and a half years that makes me feel like I'm at least headed in the right direction. And that's all that matters, right? That we're trying. 

Which sometimes makes me think how very important "just trying" is. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who can see our desires. Even though he sees my messy house and my bad moods, He can also see what I reeally, truly want. I strongly believe even when our actions can't always measure up to the desires of our hearts, those desires certainly count for something. Actually, I think they count for a lot. And well, on a day like today...or rather, throughout the next few months, I find that rather comforting. 

For I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts.

Doctrine & Covenants 137:9

Essential

I posted these photos on Facebook, so sorry if you've already seen some of them, but I found my mom's comments to be all too perfect that I had to make sure I had it recorded on my blog for safekeeping. (Just in case anyone is interested, I've started recording the old blog in a book on Blurb. So far, so good. Right now I'm just doing from 2006-2007...I've got a ways to go :)

The following photos were taken while Penelope was talking to her Nana on the phone. The comments were provided to you by Nana herself:

It was a wonderful conversation, we exchanged pleasantries...

We both did a little venting...

We had some good laughs...

Shared some intriguing secrets...

We both talked until we were both worn out. I am a very lucky Nana...

Thanks mom, for your insights. I feel very lucky my kids have you.

If you're wondering about the state of my couch, I was in the middle of cleaning one of the cushions...I'll ignore any stains underneath your couch cushions, if you ignore mine :)

Sick, No More!

The two items that I must have near me at all times. 

Tissues, you say? We're hard core around here. TP all the way. 

Currently, Ryder and I are awake at 6:30 this quiet morning, snuggling under a blanket watching cartoons while we take turns coughing up a lung.  I gave up trying to sleep around 6 a.m. and figured it would be better to get my early bird (Ryder) and I out of dodge so our other partial sickies could finish up on their much needed sleep.

Essentially this little family of mine has been involved in a nasty game of cold ping pong for the last week. I'd like to think I'm the MVP who has managed to not only remain the most consistant with my cold but somehow turned it into bronchitis. It's talent people, sheer talent.

I did make it to the doctor yesterday, so thankfully, I'm now armed with some of the good stuff (wink, wink) to help me get over this nonsense. I keep hoping every morning I'll wake up feeling monumentally better than I did the day before, but I just don't think it works that way when you're pregnant. However, I'm sick of all the sickness! And I'm really sick of not being able to taste my food. My lost sense of smell has left me dibilatated as a mother (dirty diapers???) and my lost sense of taste (which technically is still my sense of smell, right?) has made me realize what it's like to only eat when you're hungry. Shockingly, it's not that much and not to mention utterly boring. There is no joy in food {enter heavy shoulder sob here}.


So I'm done. We're all done. We're tired of playing this game and so I'm just going to will it to be over. Mind over matter, the power of positive thinking...whatever. We're done. Today I will make Penny walk around all day with a sippy cup of O.J. strapped to her hand. Today, Ryder will master the art of coughing into his elbow as I start sanitizing this house from top to bottom (or until I get too tired). Today, I'm sending Phil back to work, because after working two days from home to help me out, even Phil (our healthy phenom) is starting to get congested, and so getting him out of this contaminated environment is probably the best thing I can do for his survival. You will be missed, my love. And as for me, today, I'm going to do the laundry, even if it kills me. Because today we are getting back to normal, and normal people need clean underwear.

That's the plan. And it's gonna happen...well, until we all end up under blankets in front of the TV.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Everyone!

The kiddos have been busy attending Easter Egg hunts and eating LOTS of sugar. There has been more than one instance this weekend where I've wondered where Penelope was and why she wasn't making a peep, only to find her stuck in some corner with her Easter loot going to town.

All of us ended up catching some sort of cold this weekend, which didn't slow down Ryder and Pen's fun, but of course managed to render me useless. So like a lamo, I ended up staying home from yesterday's Easter egg hunt and from church today:(

All the fun began on Thursday when we had Easter activities during preschool, which was held at our house this week. I ended up making these chocolate candy nests I found on Pinterest, which although look really cool...

 ...aren't the most practical treat in the world...

Friday we had an Easter egg hunt at the church and then on Saturday had the community Easter egg hunt that Phil took them to while I loafed around the house with a roll of toilet paper attached to my hand.  Luckily, Phil took the camera to document their cuteness for me.

(Isn't this Easter bunny cute? So many I've seen lately are really quite scary looking)

And then the Easter bunny came to visit

 (I apologize for the snotty nose...but they're just so easy to come by around here lately)

But like any good parent made them put down their goods so I could dress them up in their Sunday finest and put copious amounts of gel (elsh as Ryder calls it) and hairspray on their heads.

And then what would this Easter post be without my "kiss your sister, dang it!" photo.

 All in all, a very pleasant morning. I'm SO very grateful for this Easter season and everything it means to me and my loved ones. This morning we were watching the You Tube clip about the resurrection that's been flying around on Facebook and when they were crucifying the Savior, Ryder said, but this is supposed to have a happy ending.  How relieved and happy I was to tell him that it did! I don't know if that and the end of the video clip left him satisfied, but I hope one day he'll fully understand about the happy ending we all get to recieve because of what our Savior did for us.

A Really Boring Blog Post

 I'm going to ask you to prepare yourself for possibly the most boring blog post of all time. I know this, because I can even envision my own mom glazing over the text, scrolling down the page, only hoping to get to a new picture of her grandchildren, which is exactly why I've placed random photos of my children here even though they have nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

This blog post is about what to blog about.

Don't say I didn't warn you about it being boring!

While I was doing the redesign, I came to a harsh realization: there's is only so much room one can take up, mostly in the form of pictures. I found out because I hit that limit. Luckily, there were some photos I had downloaded that weren't being used, so I deleted those and granted myself some more space before having to purchase more Gigs? Bytes? Space? What, for now, we'll just call gigglybytespace.

THEN, the other day in scripture group we were having a discussion about journaling. How pretty much the reason we have the scriptures is because people and prophets kept records of what was going on during their time. Obviously, there is no discounting the blessing that has been to nations. Not to mention records kept by ancestors and the impact they can have on their descendants. We further discussed the content of our journaling and I couldn't help thinking what is going to be the most valuable for my posterity to know about my life? 

I've always told myself it's okay that I'm horrible at keeping a journal because I have a blog! But after some thoughtful consideration on the point of journaling or record keeping, I think in some ways my blog is the same thing as my journal and in other ways it's not. So I'm wondering how to make it so it is. Not only in regard to content, but in how I choose to save/print/store it.

As far as the content, I feel can easily be decided when I ask myself, who am I writing to? Who are my words going to really matter to? When put that way, I know the asnwer is my family and my children. And if it so happens I can affect others along the way, well then, it's a win/win.

So then, I ask myself, what do I want them to know? Number one, my testimony of Jesus Christ and my efforts to navigate this world while trying to be like Him. I want them to know my thoughts, happiness and hopes about being a mother.  And last but not least, I want them to know what I love and why. From people to hobbies, everything I love. (I think it would be so fun to see what sort of decorating style and fashion thoughts my mom had at my age)  Obviously, there are some things too personal to share, which I will end up having to type or write down elsewhere.

I'm a little more at a loss when it comes to the sav/print/store portion...how do you do it for your blogs? Do you have them made into books? And if so, what company do you use to print your blogs and how often do you do so? Should I just transfer it to a work document and save it with a backup? Or a combination? I just don't know. Am I the only weirdo who thinks about these things!?!

So there you have it. The most boring blog post about what to blog about.