So I love talking. I am always game for some good conversation. I especially love talking to other women, which probably explains the countless hours I’ve logged talking to my mom and sister. I love having conversations regarding the world, the gospel, motherhood, families, the strength of women and how all of these things work together. These conversations and discussions always leave me feeling buoyed up and motivated to be better.
I also love to blog. And not only do I love to blog, but I happen to blog with many amazing women (I’m lucky enough to call friends). And so I thought (light bulb ping!) it would be kind of fun to combine these two loves. I’ll introduce certain topics that fall under the previously listed categories and then add in your two cents, plus advice and/or ideas, which equals a great formula for fun and educational online discussion. Right?
The point is to see how these issues relate to us, as women, and as Latter-day Saints. I would take the time at this point to open this up to men, but I know that there are no men that look at my blog besides my husband, and maybe my dad and my brother...maybe.

Now, to my first topic of conversation: FACEBOOK
The Issue
I know I’m not the only person who finds themselves wondering how to handle the Facebook phenom. There two different aspects of this issue that I find myself…concerned about. 1) How will I introduce this and other online social mediums to my children and other youth I have influence over 2) How will I choose to conduct my personal participation in these same things?
The Problem
There is always the good and the bad to things like this. And just as there is a dark side and a light side to many aspects provided by the world wide web, Facebook is just another oreo milk shake to be pilfered through and figured out as an individual trying their darndest to be their best self.  
The other day while driving in the car I heard on the radio a similar statistic to this article that I later read that stated 1 in every 5 divorces is due to Facebook. I’m sorry, what? That’s pathetic.
As for the youth, I’m not quite sure what negative effects it has, other than I’m sure it’s pretty similar to the  many other unsupervised forms of communication that are available to teenagers today. And well, the old spending x amount of hours staring at a screen is never good.
I’m not going to lie, it’s good entertainment to see the back-row introvert is now working for a Fortune 500 company and probably already bringing in 6 figures a year, but do I really need to see what’s going on in his life? It might even be intriguing to see where an old crush ended up. But am I really their friend? Really? I don’t think the term “friend” has ever been used so loosely than in the world of Facebook. In fact, where do we draw the line as to who we add, who we turn away? Oh and speaking of which, what is the proper etiquette for turning people away? Should there even be one? Do we end up having a bajillion friends because we’re afraid we’re going to hurt what’s-his-name’s feelings from what I think was high school?
But there is the good. I’ve seen Facebook allow extended families, even immediate families, stay in closer than they ever would have without it. And who doesn’t love tons of happy birthday wishes on their big day or really actually being able to stay in contact with a dear friend, where it otherwise would be hard to do so. So I don’t believe banning Facebook is the answer, in fact I believe it’s imperative to figure out how to use it constructively, as I don’t see it going anywhere any time soon.
My mom was telling my about a stake conference meeting where one of the speakers was talking on how they as parents chose to run their home and one of the rules they made for their children in regard to Facebook was that they only were allowed 100 friends. So they would really have to consider and prioritize who they were going to allow access to their Facebook page. What do you think about this?
So here are the questions to consider and want to hear your fine thoughts, advice and wisdom.
  • Am I overreacting? Do you think even think there should be guidelines? Come on, you can tell me.
  • If so, what should they be for you personally? What should they be for our children or for youth we might have influence over?
  • Lastly, what should those guidelines be?
Seriously, if you’ve made it this far, please leave a response. 1) So I don’t feel like a loser for having one-sided conversations with myself. 2) It will be cool, I promise. it will be like the new blogging revolution! (Which reminds of a time in college where someone commented during a lecture and accidentally said something about making New Years revolution instead of a resolution. Upon noticing her error she cried out, “ A New Year’s Revolution!”. I still chuckle to myself about it….Ahhh…but I digress)


  1. I'm definitely one to go over-the-top with facebooking. And yes, I've reconnected with a lot of old friends, and it's the only way I ever have a clue whats going on in my oldest brother's life (or any of my in-laws). I think it's just like anything else- moderation is key. I'll monitor my kid's accounts, and do the same for them that I do for me- if I start getting too sucked in, I'm grounded from facebook for a time.

  2. I actually read a story on this earlier this year. A relationship expert talked about how to make sure your marriage is strong when using Facebook (http://www.ksl.com/?nid=585&sid=10328843).

    The tip I remember is to share everything. Once you keep secrets from your spouse about what you are doing online, you are in trouble!

  3. I don't know if you remember me from college, but I peak at your blog occasionally via Laurie and Brittany's blogs. Hope that's ok :) I love this thought provoking post and I just wanted to participate. My husband and I have a joint facebook account. This helps us to keep in touch with people together and avoid temptations of secretly "friending" an old flame, talking to someone we shouldn't, etc. It also helps other people to know that we're in it together and if they talk to one of us, the other person sees it as well. Just like anything else, I personally have to monitor how much time I spend on facebook. Elder Bednar gave a talk recently about wasting away our time in front of a computer screen when we could be out with our neighbors and friends. I think if we're not careful, we can miss so much of life whilst browsing through "friends" profiles on facebook. Anyway, I would love to continue participating in your little discussions. It's good to read something substantive that can help me be a better person. Take care, girl :)

  4. I love all the comments.

    Personally, Facebook makes me feel a little voyeuristic. I think it's just me.

    I think it's because I normally shouldn't know so much about so and so from such and such.

    I heard a good tip. You should never friend anyone you wouldn't feel comfortable being alone in a room with.

    I also loved the joint account idea.

    Also, when you deny someone do they get a memo?

    I don't want to hurt feelings, so I just ignore their request for like six months and then reply.

  5. I enjoyed reading the comments and agree with many of them. Here's my 2cents.
    No you are not overreacting? Guidelines for my kids is 3 hours screen time a day this includes TV, Wii, PC (I wanted 1 they said 3). They also don't get an email until age 12 and FB at age 13. We must be friends and they know I check them out because I am their friend, not a snoop.
    I don't have time to be on PC for long. I hope my kids see that example. I'm on it, I use it as a tool and not a game/entertainment. I am big on my own identity and hubby and have his own too. We are friends with each other and check each other out too. It never occured to me that it would be danderous, we talk to each other way to much ;)

  6. I started reading your post a couple days ago, but got interrupted and am just getting back to it. Just wanted to say I love everyone's input. My husband I always just save our passwords to the computer so if we want to log on to each others accounts we can. We've got nothing to hide. I have to say that facebook has been a huge help being young women's president. The young women post status updates, then we can talk about a lot of them in more detail when we get together. It's also been a lot easier to keep in touch with those that are not active.