My First Week as a Mother

(Phil and Ryder having a serious conversation)

First of all, he is finally here! Phil and I finally gave birth to our 8 lb 10 oz, 21.5 inch-long beautiful baby boy. Besides going ten days past due, the delivery went rather well, which made mom very happy. We feel so blessed to have this little man in our home.

I am also proud to say, I have joined the unknown world of motherhood and have successfully gotten through my first week as a mom. What a feat! I say "unknown" because after having had a baby I finally realize there is no way to describe becoming a new mom until you've experienced it yourself. I also say "a feat" because besides never experiencing such joy, I have never experienced such stress. Every time we get through one of those crucial milestones such as: nursing, circumcision, jaundice scare, nursing, appropriate weight gain, realizing they actually do breath and stay alive when you put them down to sleep, first bath, getting some sleep, healing, and did I say nursing? (nursing has SO many milestones in itself, it needed to be mentioned at least 3 times) I slowly begin to feel like this whole parenting thing is working! It's a tricky game, this whole motherhood thing, because although its a positive thing to pass such milestones something like missing a feeding or letting his head droop can throw me into a fit of tears and world of guilt.

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It's funny because I wrote the first half of this post almost a week ago (delayed by a computer malfunction), so technically it should be titled "My first Two Weeks as a Mother" but even one week later being a mom seems much less daunting now I've had a even a few more days of practice (and healing)- or maybe just a good night's sleep. There is also a good possibility I'm speaking too soon because tomorrow is my first day without help. Thankfully, I've been lucky enough so have such good help up until now, I feel up to the challenge and I'm anxious to try and get a routine down.

Our dear, sweet leader--You will be missed

While driving to work this morning, I heard of the most unfortunate news--our beloved President Faust past away last night. I was overwhelmed with emotion and felt a tiny piece of my heart break for our leader's death and the loss of one of the best men the world has ever known.

After reading articles about his passing, I was impressed to learn about his many, many accomplishments and awards that reflected many of his great deeds throughout this life. I never knew half of these things. However, after looking at pictures of his sweet face I also knew what he considered his biggest accomplishments that were often left out of the news articles. Those I imagine to be first and foremost, his family and the service he rendered on behalf of the Gospel of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I never knew or even shook the hand of our dear President Faust, but I'll always feel a connection with him because of the many things I was able to learn from him. A couple that immediately stand out is a story he told of when he was moved to tears for the sorrow he felt when as a very young boy when his grandma had asked him to do a small favor and he chose not to. I think of how many times did I disobey my parents (or grandparents) when I was 9 or 10 and have completely forgotten about it, let alone remembering it 70 years with a such a Christlike attitude? Another of his teachings that will stay with me is his most recent General Conference address about forgiveness. Sharing amazing examples of Christlike forgiveness and what blessings forgiveness can bring. And of course, his testimony of Jesus Christ himself. These are the teachings I feel blessed to take with me because of this great man and his faithful and dutiful relationship with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

A heart full of gratitude goes out to this man who I hope I will be able to meet one day.

Happy Due Date!

(Photo: I personally titled "Waiting")

Sorry for failing to post for awhile...I know it sounds silly, but I thought maybe I would go into labor or something like that and lets face it, women about to go into labor have a lot more important things to do than blog...like watching reruns of Saved by the Bell and Forbes Top 100 most influential celebrities. But now that we're here and I'll most likely see my due date come and go, I thought it was high time to post. Although my current state has seemed to strip my brain of anything clever to say...no worries there are a lot of other people who are just full of interesting things to say.

My Favorite Top 7 Nine-Month-Pregnant Comments:

7. "You poor thing. You shouldn't be here," chuckles coworker, Teresa. (why is she chuckling)

6. "You're still here?" questions coworkers, Diana, Joel, Deena, Janie, Melina, & Francis

5. "Don't worry, we won't let you go more than two weeks past due." laughs my doctor who says in a way where she actually thinks she is being comforting.

4. "I knew you had to be getting close because I looked at you and thought, she looks SO MUCH bigger than the last time I saw her....you probably don't want to here that, huh," says the nurse who first beams and then gets quiet after she realizes what she just said.

3. "Jazzy, how can we get this going for you?" chats cute, concerned, friend Brittney

2. "Jasmine, did you forget what you were supposed to do today?" says coworker Phil in with a very concerned look on his face like I had just forgotten to give birth (this one made me laugh-- one of my favorites)

1. "It's good to see you today." says coworker John, whose tact makes me grateful his cube is the one next to mine.

Compliment or Insult?

So my co-worker today told me that if I don't come back to work after I have my baby, that I should pursue a career as a "sixties go-go dancer"...

(awkward silence)

Insult: What is it, pray tell, about my current appearance that resembles a sixties go-go dancer, so much so one would think to tell me to go pursue a career as one?

Compliment: That in my current almost 9 month pregnant state, someone out there thinks I could actually look good dancing in a pair of go-go boots and metallic mini-skirt??

Happy Pioneer Day!

I must admit I am feeling a little sorry for myself on a day where the rest of my family doesn't have to work so they can get together to have BBQ in honor of a magnificent Utah holiday--Pioneer Day. A day that honors those strong and brave people who ventured to Zion to make it what it is today. Not only playing a huge part in the development of our state, but in The Gospel as well. Plus, what better time than the end of July to find some reason to celebrate. So unable to ignore my Utah roots (which I am very proud of) here is my small tribute:

HAPPY PIONEER DAY!

Going Bananas!!!

So I've been thinking a lot about bananas lately. I think this is because my opinion of them has changed. I'll be honest, I never LOVED bananas. My relationship with them was very similar to my relationship with tomatoes. I want to like them, but I just couldn't. To this day I will try tomatoes every once in awhile to see if my mind has been changed, but nope it hasn't. However, I've had a fruit break-though, my mind has changed about bananas! But not in the way you would think....read on.

With my past relationship with bananas, I would buy them as a side fruit to have with lunch or as a snack because a) they're cheap, b) easy to peel and easy to manage, so great for on the go, and c) they are cheap. But the thing that bugged me the very most about bananas, besides their bland taste, was how fast they would go bad!!! I HATE it when food goes bad...such a waste! I tried buying them green, I tried buying less at a time...but no matter what I would do, I would wake one morning to see my last couple of bananas brown and spoiled (leaving me with a continuous supply for banana bread). With this relationship being very close to mashed, I made a little discovery...

I was at my baby shower, that wonderfully, supplied a chocolate fountain. As I was enjoying my refreshments, I realized I kept going for the bananas to dip in the chocolate. Nothing else seemed to quench my sweet tooth like the chocolate covered bananas. With this revelation, it led to a couple more revelations, one being a chocolate banana smoothie (1 banana, two scoops of chocolate ice cream, 1 tsp of vanilla and 6 cubes and you have a little glass of heaven). I also revived a few old classics, that sometimes get forgotten about: bananas on cereal, bananas with pretty much any flavor of ice cream, bananas on waffles/pancakes/french toast (ok, this might not be a classic). Bascially, I have come to find bananas the perfect counterbalance to most things sweet and chocolatey, plus making you feel a little healthier for having thrown in a piece of fruit. With this discovery, I am buying bananas like mad! Always needing them for one thing or another. Now my relationship with bananas is very similar to my relationship with milk and bread.

I think there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. If you have a bad relationship, it may not be that the realtionship is bad, you are just not utilizing it the way you should...I dunno. I'm just happy I have found joy in a cheap and healthy food item.

Real Beauty

I found this inspiring. With my meager experience within the pageant world, I do like to keep a tab on what's going on with Miss Utah and the Miss America Organization in general. Although my personal experiences offered many lessons and experiences I hold very valuable, I still found myself disappointed with certain aspects of the pageant world. Don't get me wrong, each girl had devoted hours upon hours of service to a chosen platform backed by extensive amounts of time studying in their chosen field, current events and talents.

However, it seemed all of those aspects were strongly laced to materialistic desires, which often resulted in the lowering of values right and left. I would watch girls start out their first year in a one piece swim suit and a sleeveless evening gown only to trade them in for a string bikini and strapless dress the next. I saw girls who would cater their interview answers to meet the views of very liberal judges. And of course-- as positively put as possible--the spirit of competition! (which had an amazing ability to make nice girls, not so nice). I don't know if I can say I blame them. It's a hard world not to get caught up in when you are so focused...on yourself. With that said, there were some class acts (one of which is the out going queen, Katie Millar, who made me bawl after making Top 10 at Miss America and chose to strut her stuff in a one piece) I still feel privileged to have met during my pageant experiences. Unfortunately, it's rare to see one of those girls rise to the top. These last couple of years however, I think they've hit it on the nose. Congrats to Miss Utah 2007! (It's a great story, read on...)

By Stephen SpeckmanDeseret Morning News
Jill Stevens can look like a tough and gritty soldier one day and a beauty queen the next.

Jeffrey D. Allred, Deseret Morning News
Jill Stevens is crowned Miss Utah by last year's winner, Katie Millar, at the Capitol Theatre last week. As a sergeant in the Utah National Guard, she's a combat medic who spent a year in Afghanistan patching up injured troops back in 2004 and 2005. This past Friday, the 24-year-old self-described "electric" person, nicknamed "Smiles," was crowned Miss Utah. "It's still settling in," Stevens said on the phone Monday. Last year Stevens competed as Miss Southern Utah University in the Miss Utah Scholarship Pageant, finishing as second runner-up. In May she graduated from SUU with a degree in nursing. Last February the Kaysville resident was crowned Miss Davis County before being named Miss Utah last week. Stevens said she plans to use the $10,000 scholarship prize for her master's degree toward a career as a nurse practitioner in the emergency medicine field. The new title was yet another surprise coming from the middle child of five siblings who have grown up in a musical family, with a mother who is a member of the famed Mormon Tabernacle Choir. When Stevens joined the Guard just before graduating from Davis High School in 2001, her family was surprised then. Stevens said joining the military was reflective of who she was — full of energy, someone with a sense of adventure. Her family eventually understood. "I love challenges," she said. "I love trying new things." One challenge last week was having to don a swimsuit for the pageant when her normal uniform is camouflage fatigues. "Everyone knows that in a pageant that's part of it," she said, with one caveat: "I think there's better ways to showcase fitness." A nine-time marathon finisher, Stevens said she'd rather compete in a triathlon as part of the fitness portion of the pageant. The swimsuit competition reminded her how she's more muscular than skinny as a result of lugging around rucksacks that weigh as much as 70 pounds while training with the Guard. Oh, and being attractive in the Army has meant Stevens gets attention from some of the male soldiers. She used the words "hit on." "It teaches you to stand your ground," Stevens said. "You have to be blunt with soldiers." With her chutzpah and others looking out for her, Stevens said she has had "no troubles." Her plan now is to use the Miss Utah title to spread the word about emergency preparedness, which was her platform for the competition. She'll be visiting high schools throughout Utah to make sure they know how to respond during a disaster. It's unknown at this point whether Stevens will be deployed again or how her Guard duties will mix with her responsibilities and appearances around the state as Miss Utah. She has about 18 months left on an eight-year contract with the Guard. Utah Guard spokesman Maj. Hank McIntire said having a Miss America 2008 contestant among the ranks here is a positive thing. "It draws attention to the Guard in a unique way," McIntire said. "You don't typically see a beauty queen in combat boots." Stevens' title, he said, adds a new dimension to the kinds of things a Guard member can accomplish. He said the new Miss Utah will serve as a role model for young women who might not otherwise consider joining the Guard. "She has a legitimate shot at winning Miss America," McIntire said. "Just because of the kind of person she is."By Stephen SpeckmanDeseret Morning News

New Look!

For quite awhile I've wanted to figure out how to make my personalized banner for my blog. Thinking I'd have to do complex HTML coding business, I shied away from the task. Turns out it was actually quite easy! Pushed the little browse button and that was about it. I hope you enjoy the new look. Hopefully, the gray isn't too dark...

Nursery...Check!

So this last week while Phil was at a training for work, I decided to occupy my solitary time by finishing up Ryder's nursery. I'll admit I had quite a bit of fun with this. So-for my mom and others who might not ever see it, here are a few photos of this week's doings...

Changing Station-Here is his changing table and storage areas. My favorite is my first message board I made so I can easily show him all the people who love him (who he may not get to see as often as he likes :0)

Guest Rest- After much debate, we decided to leave the daybed in the room...making it yes, more crowded, but adding the a couple more sleeping places for guests (or late-nights). Plus, I got to order the bedding that matched Ryder's bedding (hee hee)

"R" for Ryder! - And of course, the little man's domain.

Oops...

So it’s usually rather difficult for me these days to get embarrassed, but I’ll admit, today I had a blushing moment.

I went in for my monthly doctor appointment—very familiar with the drill now: take blood pressure, check weight and give urine sample. (First, I have to preface this by telling you I use the bathroom rather frequently these days. Besides having a strategically placed baby, I drink water like it’s going out of style. I can usually count on taking a trip to the restroom about once every hour. Because of this habitual act, I can do it without even thinking and I don’t like to boast, but I’m rather speedy.) So back to the urine sample… I go into the bathroom grab my cup and write my name on it with a little smiley face and head in the stall to take care of another thing I think I’ve become rather good at. Well, as I go to reach for the toilet paper, I realize I’m still staring at an empty cup in my hand. As a key element to a urine sample is remembering to give one, I had for one minute slipped into my ‘go to the bathroom mode’ and completely forgot about the original reason I was using the restroom with an empty plastic cup.

Of course, I quickly think to myself, “Now, what do I do?” Facing the realization there was nothing else to give; I tossed the cup and went on a search to find the nurse and tell him what I had done. Thinking, it wasn’t that big of a deal, it wasn’t until I uttered the actual words, “I forgot to pee in my cup” backed by an incoherent explanation of my “go to the bathroom mode” that I began to feel slightly embarrassed. Expecting to hear, “Oh that happens all the time” the nurse chuckled while telling me I could just give one on the way out.

Happy Birthday Mom!

I just want to send a Happy Birthday note out to my beautiful mom! I love you so much and hope you have an amazing day. Can't wait to see you soon!

Nesting Maddness!

With baby only seven weeks away, I find myself scrambling to get things ready for his little arrival. Although, sometimes overwhelming, I take great joy in this. I've ordered the rest of our furniture and baby bedding, I plan over and over how I'll decorate his room and I go thru my mind how I want everything from the tupperwares holding his toys to the positioning of his changing supplies on the changing table. After dozens of lists, I feel like we're making progress in this aspect, so now I've moved on to what I call the "Final Prep Stage" where the last two weeks before I'm due there are a certain number of things I want done and under control--house, spic and span; things ready for my mom; a little bag packed with things for the hospital; pediatrician, found; insurance, paperwork and all those tedious adult matters, done.

I would definetely call myself and organized person, but I was reading my trusty pregnancy books and found a term for my overwhelming burst of organization zealousness:

"Nesting: You may find yourself with an overwhelming urge to nest," (and continues to describe me to a T).

Ohhhhh, and gee, here I thought I was just really on top of things. No, no...yes, I might be nesting, but I am an "on top of things" person still.

Well, then I get to work and feel strong desire to clean (like seriously clean) out my cube. I get done and while admiring my immaculate work space ask my co-worker, John, to admire my work as well and he just stares at me and says, "You're nesting. See I don't really notice such things, but it makes you happy so that's good."

So much for an admirer of my "on top of things" abilities.

Summer Time TV

Thanks to the season my TV viewing has decreased exponentially. I think the break is good, because my personal TV schedule was getting a little embarrassing. Now, instead of having something that needed viewing every weekday night, I only have things that need viewing Wednesday and Thursday...which brings me to my Summer 2007 TV Picks: So U Think U Can Dance: Why I love this show so much, I'll never know, but in my book it beats American Idol easily and pretty much any other show at this time. They are so good! If you are a fellow fan, let me know so I know who to share my thoughts with. P.S. If you watched last night, Benji? What in the tarnation was that? Traveler: This is a newbie I was slightly intrigued by the previews and decided to watch because I was bored. So far I have not been let down. It's like a conspiracy theory movie that doesn't end. So if you're looking for a good show to watch this summer, this would be my recommendation. Well, happy summer viewing along with other summer activities that are hopefully more active that watching TV :o)

Reunion in Boise

Here are some snap shots of our family reunion in Boise...

The girl crew: Bethany (& Samson), Harmony, Aunt Lancy (& Ruby), Mom, Me and Autumn

Autumn and I taking pictures of ourselves during Jackson and Eric's graduation.

Girls' Night Out! Woo woo!

Top: Us eating dinner at Macaroni Grill (As for the pregnancy status, I'm 30 weeks in these pics) Below: Finishing off our girls' night out at my Aunt Lancy's house.

Show and Tell!

Here is a little insight into what we've been up to the last couple of months.

Me posing as Emma for our Relief Society Birthday Party. I was going for her serious portriat (I guess all her portraits were serious...)

Here is the fireman helping us with our water invasion. (Yes, the firemen came because I dialed 911. Very speedy and nice. Kudos to the Kent Fire Department)

Exploring Seattle when Luke and Marissa came to visit.

Top: Marissa and Me

Below: Phil and Me

Toe Cramp

I have a toe cramp. Not just any toe cramp, but a going on my third-day long toe cramp. I've had these toe cramps before, but they only lasted a minute or two, not three days! It is shared between my birdie and ring-finger toes of my right foot. I only feel this cramp while I'm walking, so now I'm left to limping, which really adds to the gracefullness of my already pregnant self. But here's the thing about toe cramps...although they hurt like the dickens, they merit no sympathy whatsoever. Why you ask? Great question. I suppose it is mostly to do with 1) It's an owie that can't be seen (that knocks sympathy points right off the bat) and 2) Because the pain resides in an important but all to oftenly forgotten, small appendage that doesn't get a lot of attention in the first place. I mean who ever says wow, I need to work out more, my toes are getting really fat, or I think I'm going to buy some awesome makeup to accentuate my toe shape. They are simply that needed appendage at the end and bottom of the anatomy. My mom says that since I've had such an easy pregnancy, my body had to come up with something that would give my pregnancy its own personal flare. But I tell ya, if this thing isn't gone by my next doctor's appointment, it is definitely on the list of questions. DISCLAIMER: Please remember that this blog isn't related to the toe "nail" and that it is regarding the toe "trunk" in itself. The nail can be seen and obviously, everyone knows the importance of painting ones toes and therefore gives the "nail" portion of the toe, plenty of attention. DISCLAIMER II: I was going to enhance my blog by posting a toe/foot image with it. Never, I repeat never google "toes." There are some nasty looking toes/feet in this world. I'm sorry, but you'll have to do without the image.

6 Month Mark, Wahooo!

So Tuesday, I officially hit my 6 month mark. While being incredibly pleased about this I am also a little shocked with how quickly the time has flown by (Phil on the otherhand thinks he's taking WAY too long)...very exciting. I'm a little concerned about focusing on work these last couple of months because I find myself 'baby daydreaming' a good portion of the day. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I'm a thinker. I'm pretty sure I have an abnormal ability to think or rather daydream. There has been more than one occassion Phil has walked in on me sitting there staring aimlessly at the wall with a far away look in my eye. However, I classify my thinking as daydreaming because I only think about fun things (sometimes other things, but I like to stick to the fun things). It's true. I can spend hours thinking about the things I love. And right now that's BABY! What is he going to look like, what his little personality is going to be like, what we need to get, how I want to decorate his room...SO Many Things. Usually my appetite to daydream is curbed by limited fun thoughts, but right now my fun thoughts are booming, just booming I tell you! In the end I always come down to: wow, you still have a lot to do, feeling really excited, feeling a little nervous and hoping very much so that he comes before his due date and not after :oS

Upon Request

Hello Everyone! As requested, here is a photo of me pregnant. I usually don't have a desire to take pictures of myself after gaining an unflattering amount of weight, but because I love all of you, I am documenting my....growth. Plus, I had to take a pic with my cute mom who came to visit me! Woo, woo! (BTW thanks again for coming to see me. I had so much fun.) Since this was my first documentation, I curled my hair and wore one of my new snazzy maternity outfits. And despite what you may think, I couldn't help it was posted small but if you double click you can see that it is actually my mom and me there. Side note to what you may be thinking: So my friend at work had a baby about 7 months ago and she told me one day she came to work and one of our former co-workers told her that her face was filling out nicely. She was pretty insulted. However, with me...let's face the inevitable...if you need to say it, I decided "you're face is filling out nicely" isn't so bad.

Dreams

Goodness. Those two pictures of Nicole and Brittney scared me every time my own blog popped up, so I thought it would be wise to quickly write a new post so I would have something different at the top of my blog instead of scary/sad pictures that if you never had visited my blog before would make you think, what type of blog is this??? So I've been having a lot of dreams lately. I don't know if its because being pregnant brings all my emotions to the surface...at night or because I have to pee so much, I never really fall into a deep enough sleep to avoid random dreams. For either reason, I know every time I fall asleep I can count on a wacky dream or two. There are the good dreams. For example, last night I dreamed that a month before I went on maternity leave I got promoted to marketing manager and the CEO of SafeWorks came and put a king size candy bar on my desk. It even gets better than that. Last week I had a dream that I had my baby and went to church in the same day! After I woke up, I went through half of the day with the fuzzy feeling of warmth and love that my dream had left me. However, then there are the bad and disturbing dreams...some of which Phil does something wrong and I wake up fuming at him. Poor guy. And of course, there are the other dreams that are so weird or random that they don't deserved to get mentioned. All though all of these dreamy aspects thoroughly entertain me thru my very short 7 hours of sleep. I'm always left wondering 'what in the world entered my brain, met with enough other things in my brain to come up with that?!?!' Some obviously make sense--like the candy bar...duh. Or having a baby with a quick, healthy recovery...keep those dreams comin!. However, the weird ones...I just try not to put too much thought into, so hopefully it won't ever come across my dreams again.